4 Topics to Skip on a First Date (Unless You Enjoy Eating Alone)

1. Ex Bashing: “My ex-wife took me to the cleaners, AND she’s crazy.”

We get it. We’ve all  been around the block, and the block is filled with landmines of past relationships and adversarial breakups. The first date, however, is not the time to sound bitter. She's not your therapist, your best friend, or your divorce attorney. She is looking to have a fun time.

Instead: Keep it light. A simple, "I’m divorced and really looking forward to the future" works better. The full, unedited documentary can be saved for when you’re in a relationship that is moving forward and you’re both comfortable enough to discuss your previous exes.

2. The Organ Recital: “My knees need to be replaced, my hips hurt and my cholesterol is climbing.”

The first date is to create interest, not frighten her with gory details of your medical history. While it’s good to be honest, a play-by-play of your recent colonoscopy is a conversation killer. Your date is there to get to know you, not your boring ailments.

• Instead: Focus on your shared interests, your favorite hobbies, and the future. Remember, it’s a date, not an appointment with your primary care physician.

3. The Family Drama: “My son is an alcoholic, and my daughter hasn’t spoken to me in years.”

Your family is your family, and their drama is not a topic for a first date. Oversharing about your kids’ personal problems or an ongoing dispute with an ex makes it seem like your life is a sitcom with too much drama.

• Instead: Talk about the good things. "My kids are grown and doing their own thing" is a perfect, non-committal response. You can delve into the dramatic stuff later, with a professional therapist, not a potential romantic partner.

4. The Bragging Game: “ I was able to retire at 60.  But all my co-workers miss me because I was the funny guy that everyone loved.”

No one likes a know-it-all, especially not on a first date. Bragging about your accomplishments can make you sound arrogant and self-obsessed, not confident and successful.

• Instead: Practice active listening. Ask questions about your date. Show genuine interest in her life, and let your confidence shine through your actions, not just your words. A respectful and engaged conversation is far more attractive than a self-serving one.

So, the next time you go on a first date, remember to leave the baggage, the drama, and the arrogance at home. Instead, bring a sense of humor, a positive attitude, an open mind ,and a breath-mint. Let’s chat if you’d like to learn more.